Watch full movies online with The Stu View
We present for your viewing pleasure Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy in their 1939 feature The Flying Deuces, in the first of what will hopefully be a fairly regular series of film showings and retrospective reviews here at The Stu View.
Legal Stuff - all of the films that will be available to view here are now in the public domain and hence have no copyright owners. That means these movies are freely available to the viewing public.
I've written a little retrospective look at The Flying Deuces below but I'm sure most of you will want to watch the movie first...
The Flying Deuces (1939)
Starring Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, James Finlayson, Charles Middleton
The Flying Deuces has the distinction of being the first Laurel and Hardy feature that was not made at Hal Roach Studios, instead being produced by RKO. Aficionados of Stan and Ollie know that the boys did not have a good time when they worked for the major studios in the 1940s but Flying Deuces is a nice little movie that holds up well against their Roach produced output. It is obvious that Stan Laurel still had major creative input here - something that was ludicrously taken away from him by the big studios during those 40s dark days.
Despite not being one of their classics, The Flying Deuces has a number of memorable sequences and bits of inspired dialogue, such as the following line from Stan when discussing reincarnation with Ollie:
"Oh, I'd like to come back as myself. I always got along swell with me."
Stan playing Waiting for the Sunrise using bed springs as a harp and Ollie singing Shine on Harvest Moon while Stan does a soft-shoe shuffle are the two stand-out moments for me.
The quality of this Laurel and Hardy film, despite not being made by Hal Roach, shows just how much better their 1940s movies would have been had the big studios understood what Stan and Ollie's comedy was all about and had given them creative control instead of just dictating scripts and weak gags to them.
20th Century Fox and MGM - shame on you!
Laurel & Hardy 21 Disc DVD Box Set
Laurel & Hardy Sons of the Desert
Laurel & Hardy The Flying Deuces
Tuesday, 28 June 2011
Thursday, 23 June 2011
New Movie Trailers 2011 Part 2
Part 2 of our look at some enticing new movie releases due out in the latter half of 2011.
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Scheduled UK Release: August 2011
Starring James Franco, Andy Serkis, John Lithgow
Directed by Rupert Wyatt
Opinion seems to be divided so far on the potential of this latest adaptation of the Planet of the Apes saga. Currently The Stu View is residing on the side of the doubters. Undoubtedly the motion capture CGI looks truly outstanding but is that going to be all this film has going for it? I hope I'm proved wrong. Call me old-fashioned and traditionalist, but give me men in gorilla masks riding on horseback and Charlton Heston being abusive after being caught in a net any day.
Puss in Boots
Scheduled UK Release: December 2011
Starring Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Zack Galifianakis
Directed by Chris Miller
Another shot fired in the continuing battle between Dreamworks and Pixar for animation supremacy. For me, Dreamworks always has the edge and this looks like a belter. Set before the eponymous hero meets up with the giant green ogre, Puss In Boots looks like it contains all the in-jokes, subtle visual gags and general fun of the Shrek series from which it has been born. If financially successful (which no doubt it will be) expect a sequel or two.
The Three Musketeers
Scheduled UK Release: October 2011
Starring Logan Lerman, Orlando Bloom, Matthew Macfadyen
Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson
The Stu View likes nothing more than having a bit of a swash and buckle every now and then and this latest instalment in a very long line of adaptations of Alexandre Dumas' novel looks like harmless fun. Judging from the trailer, it seems like an amalgamation of traditional Dumas and Pirates of the Caribbean. This will probably get mauled by overly serious critics but I, for one, am looking forward to it.
Cowboys and Aliens
Scheduled UK Release: August 2011
Starring Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, Olivia Wilde
Directed by Jon Favreau
Helmed by Jon Favreau, the director of the Iron Man movies and...er...Elf, Cowboys and Aliens should do exactly what it says on the tin. It has got cowboys in it and, oh, it's got aliens too - surely this is every boy's dream film? A brilliant concept, some great-looking action sequences and a top cast should all combine to make this one of the films of the year. Can't wait!
If you want to let people know your opinions on these movies, or indeed any others, you can post a comment below or on The Stu View Facebook page here http://on.fb.me/StuVwe
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Scheduled UK Release: August 2011
Starring James Franco, Andy Serkis, John Lithgow
Directed by Rupert Wyatt
Opinion seems to be divided so far on the potential of this latest adaptation of the Planet of the Apes saga. Currently The Stu View is residing on the side of the doubters. Undoubtedly the motion capture CGI looks truly outstanding but is that going to be all this film has going for it? I hope I'm proved wrong. Call me old-fashioned and traditionalist, but give me men in gorilla masks riding on horseback and Charlton Heston being abusive after being caught in a net any day.
Puss in Boots
Scheduled UK Release: December 2011
Starring Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Zack Galifianakis
Directed by Chris Miller
Another shot fired in the continuing battle between Dreamworks and Pixar for animation supremacy. For me, Dreamworks always has the edge and this looks like a belter. Set before the eponymous hero meets up with the giant green ogre, Puss In Boots looks like it contains all the in-jokes, subtle visual gags and general fun of the Shrek series from which it has been born. If financially successful (which no doubt it will be) expect a sequel or two.
The Three Musketeers
Scheduled UK Release: October 2011
Starring Logan Lerman, Orlando Bloom, Matthew Macfadyen
Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson
The Stu View likes nothing more than having a bit of a swash and buckle every now and then and this latest instalment in a very long line of adaptations of Alexandre Dumas' novel looks like harmless fun. Judging from the trailer, it seems like an amalgamation of traditional Dumas and Pirates of the Caribbean. This will probably get mauled by overly serious critics but I, for one, am looking forward to it.
Cowboys and Aliens
Scheduled UK Release: August 2011
Starring Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, Olivia Wilde
Directed by Jon Favreau
Helmed by Jon Favreau, the director of the Iron Man movies and...er...Elf, Cowboys and Aliens should do exactly what it says on the tin. It has got cowboys in it and, oh, it's got aliens too - surely this is every boy's dream film? A brilliant concept, some great-looking action sequences and a top cast should all combine to make this one of the films of the year. Can't wait!
If you want to let people know your opinions on these movies, or indeed any others, you can post a comment below or on The Stu View Facebook page here http://on.fb.me/StuVwe
Tuesday, 21 June 2011
New Movie Trailers 2011
Part one of a two-part look at some upcoming movie releases.
The Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Championships have just begun, it's raining and the average temperature here in the UK is on a par with that of Greenland. All of that means it must be summer!
New Movie Releases
The summer season is of course the traditional part of the year for the major film studios to release what they hope will become major box-office blockbusters. A number of major contenders for biggest blockbuster of 2011 have already stepped up to the plate; Pirates of the Caribbean On Stranger Tides, The Hangover II, X-Men First Class and The Green Lantern have all made their mark at the cinema box-office.
The first six months of 2011 have been pretty impressive in terms of quality of entertainment on the big screen, so let's take the opportunity to get a sneak peak at some of the new movie releases that still lie in wait for us during the remainder of the year...
The Muppets
Scheduled UK Release: November 2011
Starring Jason Segel, Amy Adams
Directed by James Bobin
This should be a smash hit over the Thanksgiving/Christmas season. It has been twelve years since the last Muppet big screen outing, Muppets in Space, and I am looking forward to welcoming our furry friends back into the cinema, especially after those pretty dire TV movies of the last decade. The only downside could be the casting of the two human leads. Jason Segel and Amy Adams are both pretty bland and seem to have less charisma between them than a partially eaten digestive biscuit. Mind you, who cares when you've got Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzy Bear (my personal favourite), Gonzo and the rest of the Muppet troop on hand? It's time to play the music, it's time to light the lights...
Mr Popper's Penguins
Scheduled UK Release: August 2011
Starring Jim Carrey, Carla Gugino, Angela Lansbury
Directed by Mark Waters
Jim Carrey seems to be a man in need of another major movie as his box-office clout has weakened considerably over the last few years. Could this be the fortune reviver his film career needs? Probably not but Mr Popper's Penguins does look like an enjoyable family outing and it will probably do decent business. After all, who doesn't like penguins - they're cute, inquisitive and waddle when they walk. Looks like Jim is going to be outshone here!
Zookeeper
Scheduled UK Release: July 2011
Starring Kevin James, Rosario Dawson
Directed by Frank Coraci
Kevin James is a highly likeable comic actor and he never fails to charm whatever the role. Here he plays another loveable loser in what looks like a good solid dose of enjoyable family entertainment. As with Mr Popper's Penguins, you just can't fail with animals and the voices of the zoo inhabitants are provided by an A-list cast including Sylvester Stallone, Nick Nolte, Cher, Adam Sandler and Don Rickles.
Moneyball
Scheduled UK Release: November 2011
Starring Brad Pitt, Jonah Hill, Robin Wright
Directed by Bennett Miller
Sports movies generally fall into one of two categories - Excellent (Rocky, Invictus, Jerry McGuire) or Piss Poor (Rocky V, Leatherheads). Hopefully, from the looks of the trailer, Moneyball will fall into the former category. Things should be helped by the fact that Aaron Sorkin is one of the screenwriters and, of course, the excellent Brad Pitt is the lead. Mind you, the excellent George Clooney was the lead in Leatherheads and that still sucked.
I would love to hear your thoughts on these movies and which, if any, you are going to see. You can leave comments below or on The Stu View fan page on Facebook.
Come back very soon for New Movie Trailers part two which will feature, amongst others, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and The Three Musketeers.
The Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Championships have just begun, it's raining and the average temperature here in the UK is on a par with that of Greenland. All of that means it must be summer!
New Movie Releases
The summer season is of course the traditional part of the year for the major film studios to release what they hope will become major box-office blockbusters. A number of major contenders for biggest blockbuster of 2011 have already stepped up to the plate; Pirates of the Caribbean On Stranger Tides, The Hangover II, X-Men First Class and The Green Lantern have all made their mark at the cinema box-office.
The first six months of 2011 have been pretty impressive in terms of quality of entertainment on the big screen, so let's take the opportunity to get a sneak peak at some of the new movie releases that still lie in wait for us during the remainder of the year...
The Muppets
Scheduled UK Release: November 2011
Starring Jason Segel, Amy Adams
Directed by James Bobin
This should be a smash hit over the Thanksgiving/Christmas season. It has been twelve years since the last Muppet big screen outing, Muppets in Space, and I am looking forward to welcoming our furry friends back into the cinema, especially after those pretty dire TV movies of the last decade. The only downside could be the casting of the two human leads. Jason Segel and Amy Adams are both pretty bland and seem to have less charisma between them than a partially eaten digestive biscuit. Mind you, who cares when you've got Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzy Bear (my personal favourite), Gonzo and the rest of the Muppet troop on hand? It's time to play the music, it's time to light the lights...
Mr Popper's Penguins
Scheduled UK Release: August 2011
Starring Jim Carrey, Carla Gugino, Angela Lansbury
Directed by Mark Waters
Jim Carrey seems to be a man in need of another major movie as his box-office clout has weakened considerably over the last few years. Could this be the fortune reviver his film career needs? Probably not but Mr Popper's Penguins does look like an enjoyable family outing and it will probably do decent business. After all, who doesn't like penguins - they're cute, inquisitive and waddle when they walk. Looks like Jim is going to be outshone here!
Zookeeper
Scheduled UK Release: July 2011
Starring Kevin James, Rosario Dawson
Directed by Frank Coraci
Kevin James is a highly likeable comic actor and he never fails to charm whatever the role. Here he plays another loveable loser in what looks like a good solid dose of enjoyable family entertainment. As with Mr Popper's Penguins, you just can't fail with animals and the voices of the zoo inhabitants are provided by an A-list cast including Sylvester Stallone, Nick Nolte, Cher, Adam Sandler and Don Rickles.
Moneyball
Scheduled UK Release: November 2011
Starring Brad Pitt, Jonah Hill, Robin Wright
Directed by Bennett Miller
Sports movies generally fall into one of two categories - Excellent (Rocky, Invictus, Jerry McGuire) or Piss Poor (Rocky V, Leatherheads). Hopefully, from the looks of the trailer, Moneyball will fall into the former category. Things should be helped by the fact that Aaron Sorkin is one of the screenwriters and, of course, the excellent Brad Pitt is the lead. Mind you, the excellent George Clooney was the lead in Leatherheads and that still sucked.
I would love to hear your thoughts on these movies and which, if any, you are going to see. You can leave comments below or on The Stu View fan page on Facebook.
Come back very soon for New Movie Trailers part two which will feature, amongst others, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and The Three Musketeers.
Thursday, 16 June 2011
Stan Laurel - A Birthday Tribute
Stan Laurel + Oliver Hardy = Laurel & Hardy. Laurel & Hardy = greatest big screen comedy team ever.
Today, Thursday 16 June 2011, would have been the 121st birthday of Arthur Stanley Jefferson, better known to generations of movie goers as Stan Laurel - not just the greatest English film comedian of all time but the greatest the world has ever seen. Many would argue that Charles Chaplin deserves that honour but, as Stan has always been my comedy hero, I would always choose him over Chaplin.
As a film comic, Stan Laurel had it all. He was superb at physical comedy, both slapstick and subtle, possessed some wonderful facial expressions and delivered some truly sublime dialogue with impeccable timing. Most importantly, Stan had a comic brain par excellence. Most of Laurel and Hardy's comedy routines were devised and polished to perfection by him. He lived for comedy and continued to write gags and routines for himself and fellow comedy genius Oliver Hardy long after his screen partner and dear friend had passed away.
The excellent book The Comedy World of Stan Laurel by Laurel and Hardy biographer John McCabe is a wonderful resource for finding out more about Laurel's creative processes and how his mind continually worked overtime thinking up new ideas and gags. Nothing sums up Stan Laurel and his approach to comedy (and life in general) better than a quote in the book from Stan himself:
"What we were trying to do was make people laugh in as many ways as we could, without trying to prove a point or show the world its troubles or get into some deep meaning."
To celebrate Stan's birthday, I thought I would highlight a part of the Laurel & Hardy comedy package that is sometimes underrated and that is their wonderful dialogue.
The Stu View proudly presents
The World According to Stan and Ollie
"Well, I've got to hand it to you Ollie. For the meticulous care in which you have executed your finely formulated machinations in extricating us from this devastating dilemma."
Stan - Sons of the Desert (1933)
"Why did you get a veterinarian?"
"Well, I didn't think his religion would make any difference!"
Ollie & Stan - Sons of the Desert (1933)
"You can lead a horse to water but a pencil must be lead."
Stan - Brats (1930)
"Excuse me. My ear is full of milk!"
Ollie - Going Bye Bye (1934)
"You never met my wife, have you?"
"Yes, I never did."
Ollie & Stan - Helpmates (1932)
"Here am I, Oliver Norvell Hardy. A man without a home, a man without a country. A man without any pants!"
Ollie - Bonnie Scotland (1935)
"I've never known it to fail. While the mice are away, the cats are always...playing around...and...doing something."
Stan - Helpmates (1932)
"You know you can't keep an egg in two baskets. That's silly...unless you scramble 'em."
Stan - The Dancing Masters (1943)
"I have nothing to say!"
Ollie - Dirty Work (1933)
"I brought you some hard boiled eggs and some nuts!"
"Now, you know I can't eat hard boiled eggs and nuts! If you wanted to bring me something, why didn't you bring me a box of candy?"
"They cost too much."
"Well, what has that got to do with it?"
"You didn't pay me for the last box I bought you."
Stan & Ollie - County Hospital (1932)
"Hard boiled eggs and nuts! Hmmph!"
Ollie - County Hospital (1933)
If you want to find out more about Laurel & Hardy, or even if you are a big fan already, then pop along to The Laurel and Hardy Forum the best place on the net for all things Stan and Ollie!
I'll finish this little birthday celebration with a wonderful video tribute compiled by the Dirty Work Tent of the official Sons of the Desert Laurel and Hardy Fan Club. Enjoy!
Today, Thursday 16 June 2011, would have been the 121st birthday of Arthur Stanley Jefferson, better known to generations of movie goers as Stan Laurel - not just the greatest English film comedian of all time but the greatest the world has ever seen. Many would argue that Charles Chaplin deserves that honour but, as Stan has always been my comedy hero, I would always choose him over Chaplin.
As a film comic, Stan Laurel had it all. He was superb at physical comedy, both slapstick and subtle, possessed some wonderful facial expressions and delivered some truly sublime dialogue with impeccable timing. Most importantly, Stan had a comic brain par excellence. Most of Laurel and Hardy's comedy routines were devised and polished to perfection by him. He lived for comedy and continued to write gags and routines for himself and fellow comedy genius Oliver Hardy long after his screen partner and dear friend had passed away.
The excellent book The Comedy World of Stan Laurel by Laurel and Hardy biographer John McCabe is a wonderful resource for finding out more about Laurel's creative processes and how his mind continually worked overtime thinking up new ideas and gags. Nothing sums up Stan Laurel and his approach to comedy (and life in general) better than a quote in the book from Stan himself:
"What we were trying to do was make people laugh in as many ways as we could, without trying to prove a point or show the world its troubles or get into some deep meaning."
To celebrate Stan's birthday, I thought I would highlight a part of the Laurel & Hardy comedy package that is sometimes underrated and that is their wonderful dialogue.
The Stu View proudly presents
The World According to Stan and Ollie
"Well, I've got to hand it to you Ollie. For the meticulous care in which you have executed your finely formulated machinations in extricating us from this devastating dilemma."
Stan - Sons of the Desert (1933)
"Why did you get a veterinarian?"
"Well, I didn't think his religion would make any difference!"
Ollie & Stan - Sons of the Desert (1933)
"You can lead a horse to water but a pencil must be lead."
Stan - Brats (1930)
"Excuse me. My ear is full of milk!"
Ollie - Going Bye Bye (1934)
"You never met my wife, have you?"
"Yes, I never did."
Ollie & Stan - Helpmates (1932)
"Here am I, Oliver Norvell Hardy. A man without a home, a man without a country. A man without any pants!"
Ollie - Bonnie Scotland (1935)
"I've never known it to fail. While the mice are away, the cats are always...playing around...and...doing something."
Stan - Helpmates (1932)
"You know you can't keep an egg in two baskets. That's silly...unless you scramble 'em."
Stan - The Dancing Masters (1943)
"I have nothing to say!"
Ollie - Dirty Work (1933)
"I brought you some hard boiled eggs and some nuts!"
"Now, you know I can't eat hard boiled eggs and nuts! If you wanted to bring me something, why didn't you bring me a box of candy?"
"They cost too much."
"Well, what has that got to do with it?"
"You didn't pay me for the last box I bought you."
Stan & Ollie - County Hospital (1932)
"Hard boiled eggs and nuts! Hmmph!"
Ollie - County Hospital (1933)
If you want to find out more about Laurel & Hardy, or even if you are a big fan already, then pop along to The Laurel and Hardy Forum the best place on the net for all things Stan and Ollie!
I'll finish this little birthday celebration with a wonderful video tribute compiled by the Dirty Work Tent of the official Sons of the Desert Laurel and Hardy Fan Club. Enjoy!
Wednesday, 15 June 2011
Eight Great Movie Pirates
As promised at the end of the review of Pirates of the Caribbean On Stranger Tides, here is a look at some of the greatest pirates in movie history, according to The Stu View.
Before we get started, I'm sure there are many Stu Viewers out there asking why there are only eight choices here instead of the more list-friendly number of ten? Well, there are a couple of reasons actually:
1. Eight rhymes with Great and it scans nicely as a title
2. As pirates dealt in pieces of eight and this list is, after all, all about pirates, I thought it would fit just right. So there.
This compilation isn't in any particular order this time but it features the greatest, most dashing, conniving, blustering, hard-drinking, dastardly seafaring scoundrels who ever buckled their swash - and that's just the actors who played them!
Each pirate is given a 'Piece of Eight' rating in various categories - Reputation, Cunning, Panache, Sword Play, Ruthlessness and Damson Bait (how they fared with the ladies!)
Captain Jack Sparrow
Johnny Depp
Pirates of the Caribbean Quadrilogy
Pieces of Eight Rating
Reputation: 7
Cunning: 8
Panache: 8
Sword Play: 7
Ruthlessness: 5
Damson Bait: 8
If this was an ordered list, then Captain Jack Sparrow would undoubtedly be in the top spot. He is the most famous big screen pirate of them all and played by a damn fine actor too. Jack has all the roguish elements necessary if you want to succeed in the piracy game but, unlike many of his peers, he has a soft side - a trait that he denies he possesses of course. Despite sometimes preferring to run rather than fight, Jack is a dab hand with a cutlass and a pretty good shot too (no, that's not a typo - it's meant to say shot).
The one quality that gives Jack the advantage over his enemies is his unerring ability to lay on the charm and talk his way out of most situations. Savvy?
Captain Hector Barbossa
Geoffrey Rush
Pirates of the Caribbean Quadrilogy
Pieces of Eight Rating
Reputation: 7
Cunning: 7
Panache: 7
Sword Play: 8
Ruthlessness: 6
Damson Bait: 5
One of the most respected pirate captains in the whole of the Caribbean, Barbossa is, in turn, both foe and ally of Jack Sparrow. However, whichever side he appears to be on, his allegiance ultimately is to himself. After stealing cursed Aztec gold, Barbossa and his crew became pirates of the undead - only showing their true skeletal form in the glow of the moonlight. On the bright side however, it did mean Barbossa could perform a pretty nifty trick drinking rum while in skeleton mode, which would go down well at any stag night.
Despite having the complexion of a cheese grater, Barbossa is a pretty natty dresser for a pirate, which counts for his high panache rating. Plus, he's got a monkey...and you can't beat that.
Captain Robeles
Christopher Lee
Devil-Ship Pirates
Pieces of Eight Rating
Reputation: 5
Cunning: 7
Panache: 7
Sword Play: 7
Ruthlessness: 8
Damson Bait: 6
As Captain Robeles is featured in more detail in the post Top 10 Christopher Lee Performances (access it from the archive on the right), we won't dwell on him too much here. Suffice to say, Robeles is one of the most ruthless and uncompromising pirates in film history. In other words, he's a bit of a bastard.
Captain Vallo
Burt Lancaster
The Crimson Pirate
Pieces of Eight Rating
Reputation: 5
Cunning: 5
Panache: 7
Swordplay: 7
Ruthlessness: 4
Damson Bait: 7
The dashing Captain Vallo leads a band of men loyal to him (except one sneaky git), is a fine swordsman and a bit of an acrobat. He might also be a bit of an undiscovered genius. Long before electricity was discovered and used to its full potential, Vallo somehow must have had both a working hair dryer on board ship and an electric toothbrush. Its the only explanation for his perfectly coiffured quiff and teeth so bright they could light a snooker table at The Crucible. The cleanest, most hygienic pirate in movie history.
Davy Jones
Bill Nighy
POTC: Dead Man's Chest & At World's End
Pieces of Eight Rating
Reputation: 8
Cunning: 7
Panache: 5
Swordplay: 7
Ruthlessness: 8
Damson Bait: 2
Davy Jones was tasked by the goddess Calypso to ferry all dead sailors to the other side and ensure their safe passage. However, he was corrupted by the love of a woman (aren't they all?) and took the drastic measure of literally cutting out his broken heart and placing it in a chest. Hmmm, couldn't he have just gone out on the pull instead? Forgetting about his true purpose, Jones soon transformed into the many tentacled thing you see here. The fearsome Davy Jones is not a man, or indeed squid, to be trifled with but that doesn't stop Jack Sparrow delighting in calling him "fish face" and "slimy git". All those tentacles mean Jones is a rather nifty organ player too.
Long John Silver
Robert Newton
Treasure Island
Pieces of Eight Rating
Reputation: 7
Cunning: 7
Panache: 5
Swordplay: 5
Ruthlessness: 6
Damson Bait: 3
As his picture shows, Long John Silver must be pretty damn annoyed right now. Until a certain Mr Sparrow came along, Mr Silver was probably the most famous pirate of them all. However, he can still be proud of the fact that he set the trend for all others of his kind to follow. He made wearing a wooden stump the 'in-thing' (unless you still have two legs of course), popularised the word 'arrrrrrr' and can still roll his eyes with the best of them. His biggest contribution to pirate legacy though is having a parrot perch on his shoulder. Even though he's not the most dashing or handsome pirate, he can always say he has a bird on his arm every night.
Blackbeard
Ian McShane
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Pieces of Eight Rating
Reputation: 8
Cunning: 7
Panache: 6
Swordplay: 7
Ruthlessness: 8
Damson Bait: 6
Blackbeard has the most fearsome reputation amongst all who ever set sail on the seven seas. He is the Pirate That All Other Pirates Fear - to put it more simply, he is one mean dude. Anyone who sets fire to objects dangling in their beard is a person to be given a very wide berth. Blackbeard likes to play up to his image at every opportunity, putting the fear of God into all that cross his path. Maybe it's all down to a bit of insecurity on his part? After all his real name is Edward Teach and 'Eddie' just doesn't cut it as a pirate name does it? Bless him.
Captain Blood
Errol Flynn
Captain Blood
Pieces of Eight Rating
Reputation: 6
Cunning: 5
Panache: 7
Swordplay: 7
Ruthlessness: 4
Damson Bait: 8
If there was an award for best pirate name then Captain Blood has to be the winner. It conjures up images of a ferocious, unstoppable mad-dog bastard type who lives in fear of no man. On further investigation, this image is tarnished somewhat when you find out his first name is a somewhat less than scary Peter and that he is in fact a humble doctor who has been forced into a life of piracy. Mind you, Pete does score highly in the 'Damson Bait' stakes. After all, he is played by Errol Flynn!
Well, there you have it land-lubbers - the eight greatest pirates of all-time. Join me again soon for another voyage through the movie world.
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Before we get started, I'm sure there are many Stu Viewers out there asking why there are only eight choices here instead of the more list-friendly number of ten? Well, there are a couple of reasons actually:
1. Eight rhymes with Great and it scans nicely as a title
2. As pirates dealt in pieces of eight and this list is, after all, all about pirates, I thought it would fit just right. So there.
This compilation isn't in any particular order this time but it features the greatest, most dashing, conniving, blustering, hard-drinking, dastardly seafaring scoundrels who ever buckled their swash - and that's just the actors who played them!
Each pirate is given a 'Piece of Eight' rating in various categories - Reputation, Cunning, Panache, Sword Play, Ruthlessness and Damson Bait (how they fared with the ladies!)
Johnny Depp
Pirates of the Caribbean Quadrilogy
Pieces of Eight Rating
Reputation: 7
Cunning: 8
Panache: 8
Sword Play: 7
Ruthlessness: 5
Damson Bait: 8
If this was an ordered list, then Captain Jack Sparrow would undoubtedly be in the top spot. He is the most famous big screen pirate of them all and played by a damn fine actor too. Jack has all the roguish elements necessary if you want to succeed in the piracy game but, unlike many of his peers, he has a soft side - a trait that he denies he possesses of course. Despite sometimes preferring to run rather than fight, Jack is a dab hand with a cutlass and a pretty good shot too (no, that's not a typo - it's meant to say shot).
The one quality that gives Jack the advantage over his enemies is his unerring ability to lay on the charm and talk his way out of most situations. Savvy?
Geoffrey Rush
Pirates of the Caribbean Quadrilogy
Pieces of Eight Rating
Reputation: 7
Cunning: 7
Panache: 7
Sword Play: 8
Ruthlessness: 6
Damson Bait: 5
One of the most respected pirate captains in the whole of the Caribbean, Barbossa is, in turn, both foe and ally of Jack Sparrow. However, whichever side he appears to be on, his allegiance ultimately is to himself. After stealing cursed Aztec gold, Barbossa and his crew became pirates of the undead - only showing their true skeletal form in the glow of the moonlight. On the bright side however, it did mean Barbossa could perform a pretty nifty trick drinking rum while in skeleton mode, which would go down well at any stag night.
Despite having the complexion of a cheese grater, Barbossa is a pretty natty dresser for a pirate, which counts for his high panache rating. Plus, he's got a monkey...and you can't beat that.
Christopher Lee
Devil-Ship Pirates
Pieces of Eight Rating
Reputation: 5
Cunning: 7
Panache: 7
Sword Play: 7
Ruthlessness: 8
Damson Bait: 6
As Captain Robeles is featured in more detail in the post Top 10 Christopher Lee Performances (access it from the archive on the right), we won't dwell on him too much here. Suffice to say, Robeles is one of the most ruthless and uncompromising pirates in film history. In other words, he's a bit of a bastard.
Burt Lancaster
The Crimson Pirate
Pieces of Eight Rating
Reputation: 5
Cunning: 5
Panache: 7
Swordplay: 7
Ruthlessness: 4
Damson Bait: 7
The dashing Captain Vallo leads a band of men loyal to him (except one sneaky git), is a fine swordsman and a bit of an acrobat. He might also be a bit of an undiscovered genius. Long before electricity was discovered and used to its full potential, Vallo somehow must have had both a working hair dryer on board ship and an electric toothbrush. Its the only explanation for his perfectly coiffured quiff and teeth so bright they could light a snooker table at The Crucible. The cleanest, most hygienic pirate in movie history.
Bill Nighy
POTC: Dead Man's Chest & At World's End
Pieces of Eight Rating
Reputation: 8
Cunning: 7
Panache: 5
Swordplay: 7
Ruthlessness: 8
Damson Bait: 2
Davy Jones was tasked by the goddess Calypso to ferry all dead sailors to the other side and ensure their safe passage. However, he was corrupted by the love of a woman (aren't they all?) and took the drastic measure of literally cutting out his broken heart and placing it in a chest. Hmmm, couldn't he have just gone out on the pull instead? Forgetting about his true purpose, Jones soon transformed into the many tentacled thing you see here. The fearsome Davy Jones is not a man, or indeed squid, to be trifled with but that doesn't stop Jack Sparrow delighting in calling him "fish face" and "slimy git". All those tentacles mean Jones is a rather nifty organ player too.
Robert Newton
Treasure Island
Pieces of Eight Rating
Reputation: 7
Cunning: 7
Panache: 5
Swordplay: 5
Ruthlessness: 6
Damson Bait: 3
As his picture shows, Long John Silver must be pretty damn annoyed right now. Until a certain Mr Sparrow came along, Mr Silver was probably the most famous pirate of them all. However, he can still be proud of the fact that he set the trend for all others of his kind to follow. He made wearing a wooden stump the 'in-thing' (unless you still have two legs of course), popularised the word 'arrrrrrr' and can still roll his eyes with the best of them. His biggest contribution to pirate legacy though is having a parrot perch on his shoulder. Even though he's not the most dashing or handsome pirate, he can always say he has a bird on his arm every night.
Ian McShane
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Pieces of Eight Rating
Reputation: 8
Cunning: 7
Panache: 6
Swordplay: 7
Ruthlessness: 8
Damson Bait: 6
Blackbeard has the most fearsome reputation amongst all who ever set sail on the seven seas. He is the Pirate That All Other Pirates Fear - to put it more simply, he is one mean dude. Anyone who sets fire to objects dangling in their beard is a person to be given a very wide berth. Blackbeard likes to play up to his image at every opportunity, putting the fear of God into all that cross his path. Maybe it's all down to a bit of insecurity on his part? After all his real name is Edward Teach and 'Eddie' just doesn't cut it as a pirate name does it? Bless him.
Errol Flynn
Captain Blood
Pieces of Eight Rating
Reputation: 6
Cunning: 5
Panache: 7
Swordplay: 7
Ruthlessness: 4
Damson Bait: 8
If there was an award for best pirate name then Captain Blood has to be the winner. It conjures up images of a ferocious, unstoppable mad-dog bastard type who lives in fear of no man. On further investigation, this image is tarnished somewhat when you find out his first name is a somewhat less than scary Peter and that he is in fact a humble doctor who has been forced into a life of piracy. Mind you, Pete does score highly in the 'Damson Bait' stakes. After all, he is played by Errol Flynn!
Well, there you have it land-lubbers - the eight greatest pirates of all-time. Join me again soon for another voyage through the movie world.
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Wednesday, 8 June 2011
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - Review
The Pirates of the Caribbean film series is undoubtedly one of the most successful movie franchises in history. On the all-time worldwide box-office chart, Dead Man's Chest stands at number 4, At World's End is at 9 and Curse of the Black Pearl 30. The total combined takings from these 3 movies is just under $3 billion.
That is, of course, before you add in whatever the final total for the fourth film in the series, On Stranger Tides, reaches.
So, me lily-livered hearties, the questions be Can On Stranger Tides Match the Box-Office Success of its Predecessors? and Can it Match the On-Screen Quality of the First Three Outings Too?
In answer to the first question - quite possibly; question two - most definitely.
Fountain of Youth
One of the main criticisms of the Pirate series (particularly At World's End) has been the somewhat over-convoluted plots which require a lot of concentration to keep up with what's going on. Director Rob Marshall, taking over from series stalwart Gore Verbinski at the ship's helm, has re-dressed the balance with On Stranger Tides, delivering a much more streamlined movie that is very much in the style of Pirates 1.
The wonderful Johnny Depp is back as Captain Jack Sparrow, who this time out is seeking the mystical Fountain of Youth. However, he is not alone in his quest. Old foe Captain Barbossa (the ever-excellent Geoffrey Rush) is now a privateer in King George II's Navy and has been tasked to find the Fountain before the Spanish - Barbossa, however, has a rather different agenda to that of the monarch.
Also along for the ride is Angelica, a mysterious woman from Jack's past who might, or might not, be the daughter of the "pirate that all pirates fear" - the mighty Blackbeard, who also has a reason for finding the fabled Fountain before anyone else.
Rip-Roaring
It was feared in some quarters that the absence of series regulars Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley from this fourth instalment could harm the picture somewhat. This is not the case however. The sultry Penelope Cruz is convincing as the fiery Angelica - a big improvement in my opinion over the sometimes bland Knightley. Meanwhile, Ian McShane delivers a rip-roaring performance as the villainous Blackbeard. The former Lovejoy is every inch the perfect pirate bad guy, steely of eye and gruff of voice.
Captain Jack
Towering above all though is Johnny Depp, who continues to wow as the great Captain Jack - one of the greatest film characters of all-time. Once again, Jack is a wonderful mix of brave hero, self-serving coward and cunning pirate; all delivered with a dead-pan sense of humour - at one point, Jack addresses the fearsome Blackbeard simply as 'Mr Beard.' Keep an eye out too for another great cameo from Depp's inspiration for the character of Jack Sparrow - Rolling Stone Keith Richards.
Director Rob Marshall is not renowned for directing action epics (his previous credits include the rather more sedate Chicago and Memoirs of a Geisha) but he helms the action set-pieces here with panache - the sequence featuring an attack by some rather blood-thirsty mermaids being a particular stand-out.
Worthy
On Stranger Tides is a more than worthy addition to the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise and - looking at the box-office takings so far - proves there is a lot of life, and rum, left in Captain Jack Sparrow yet.
The next instalment of The Stu View will take a look at some of the great pirates in film history. Drink up me hearties, yo-ho!
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Friday, 3 June 2011
20 Facts About...Clint Eastwood
Film icon Clint Eastwood turned 81 on May 31st 2011.
The actor who brought to life such screen characters as Dirty Harry and The Man with No Name is one of the last remaining true Hollywood legends; a man who has such stature in the film industry that he is able to make whatever project he wants.
He possesses a tremendous screen presence, is still physically fit for his advanced years and, at the age of 81, still has more hair than me. Despite being out-follicled by Eastwood, I still placed him at number one on my list of Top 10 Movie Tough Guys.
As well as on-screen accomplishments, Eastwood - particularly in recent years - has built a reputation as one of the film industry's greatest directors.
To honour the legend that is Clint Eastwood, The Stu View presents 20 Facts about the big man and his movies that you may not know...
20 Facts About Clint Eastwood
1. Let's start by dispelling an urban myth that has been circulating for years - Stan Laurel is NOT Clint Eastwood's father! For those people out there that still spout this nonsense - stop now! Clint's father was a steelworker also named Clinton.
2. Clinton Eastwood Jnr was born on May 31st 1930 in San Francisco, California.
3. Reaching an estimated height of 6"4in as an adult, Clint was bound to have been a large baby. So, everyone, please feel sorry for his mother Ruth, as I announce that baby Clint weighed in at 11 pounds and 6 ounces. Ouch!
4. At the age of 19, Clint became a qualified lifeguard.
5. Eastwood made his film debut in the 1955 sci-fi movie Revenge of the Creature, in the uncredited small role of a lab assistant. Love the hair, Clint!
6. Charles Bronson, Henry Fonda and James Coburn were all considered for the role that Clint Eastwood eventually made his own in A Fistful of Dollars.
7. Despite being known as The Man with No Name in the Dollars movie trilogy, Clint's character actually had a moniker in all three of the films. He was Joe in A Fistful of Dollars, Manco in For a Few Dollars More and Blondie in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.
8. As with the Dollar movies, Clint was not first choice to play the role of tough, no-nonsense San Francisco police officer Harry Callaghan in 1971. First considered for the part was Frank Sinatra.....yes, you read that right...Ole Blue Eyes himself. "Doobie-doo I feel lucky? Well, doobie-doo ya, punk?"
9. Another change to Dirty Harry from the first script was the location. Instead of San Francisco, the film was originally to be set in New York.
10. Dirty Harry's most famous catchphrase is "Go ahead. Make my day." This wasn't uttered however until the fourth film Sudden Impact in 1983.
11. Clint's first film as a director was Play Misty for Me in 1971.
12. In 2010, Clint Eastwood revealed that he had been approached to take over the role of James Bond from Sean Connery at the start of the 70s. "Did I shake six Martinis or only five?"
13. Clint was also considered for the role of Superman.
14. Eastwood has won two Oscars for Best Director - Unforgiven in 1993 and Million Dollar Baby in 2005. He was also nominated for Mystic River in 2004 and Letters from Iwo Jima in 2007.
15. Despite being nominated for Unforgiven and Million Dollar Baby, Clint has never won a Best Actor Oscar.
16. Clint was voted Favourite All-Time Motion Picture Star in the 1988 People's Choice Awards.
17. The highest-grossing Clint Eastwood film ever is Gran Torino, which took $269,958,228 worldwide.
18. When Gran Torino hit the top spot at the box office in 2009, Clint - at the age of 78 - became the oldest leading man to ever be at the number one position.
19. Clint has seven children by five different women. The eldest, Kimber, is 47, while the youngest is Morgan at 14 years of age.
20. Clint is an accomplished jazz pianist and has composed the score for a number of his films.
Now, did I write 20 facts or only 19? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I kinda lost track myself. But being this is The Stu View.....
The actor who brought to life such screen characters as Dirty Harry and The Man with No Name is one of the last remaining true Hollywood legends; a man who has such stature in the film industry that he is able to make whatever project he wants.
He possesses a tremendous screen presence, is still physically fit for his advanced years and, at the age of 81, still has more hair than me. Despite being out-follicled by Eastwood, I still placed him at number one on my list of Top 10 Movie Tough Guys.
As well as on-screen accomplishments, Eastwood - particularly in recent years - has built a reputation as one of the film industry's greatest directors.
To honour the legend that is Clint Eastwood, The Stu View presents 20 Facts about the big man and his movies that you may not know...
20 Facts About Clint Eastwood
1. Let's start by dispelling an urban myth that has been circulating for years - Stan Laurel is NOT Clint Eastwood's father! For those people out there that still spout this nonsense - stop now! Clint's father was a steelworker also named Clinton.
2. Clinton Eastwood Jnr was born on May 31st 1930 in San Francisco, California.
3. Reaching an estimated height of 6"4in as an adult, Clint was bound to have been a large baby. So, everyone, please feel sorry for his mother Ruth, as I announce that baby Clint weighed in at 11 pounds and 6 ounces. Ouch!
4. At the age of 19, Clint became a qualified lifeguard.
5. Eastwood made his film debut in the 1955 sci-fi movie Revenge of the Creature, in the uncredited small role of a lab assistant. Love the hair, Clint!
6. Charles Bronson, Henry Fonda and James Coburn were all considered for the role that Clint Eastwood eventually made his own in A Fistful of Dollars.
7. Despite being known as The Man with No Name in the Dollars movie trilogy, Clint's character actually had a moniker in all three of the films. He was Joe in A Fistful of Dollars, Manco in For a Few Dollars More and Blondie in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.
8. As with the Dollar movies, Clint was not first choice to play the role of tough, no-nonsense San Francisco police officer Harry Callaghan in 1971. First considered for the part was Frank Sinatra.....yes, you read that right...Ole Blue Eyes himself. "Doobie-doo I feel lucky? Well, doobie-doo ya, punk?"
9. Another change to Dirty Harry from the first script was the location. Instead of San Francisco, the film was originally to be set in New York.
10. Dirty Harry's most famous catchphrase is "Go ahead. Make my day." This wasn't uttered however until the fourth film Sudden Impact in 1983.
11. Clint's first film as a director was Play Misty for Me in 1971.
12. In 2010, Clint Eastwood revealed that he had been approached to take over the role of James Bond from Sean Connery at the start of the 70s. "Did I shake six Martinis or only five?"
13. Clint was also considered for the role of Superman.
14. Eastwood has won two Oscars for Best Director - Unforgiven in 1993 and Million Dollar Baby in 2005. He was also nominated for Mystic River in 2004 and Letters from Iwo Jima in 2007.
15. Despite being nominated for Unforgiven and Million Dollar Baby, Clint has never won a Best Actor Oscar.
16. Clint was voted Favourite All-Time Motion Picture Star in the 1988 People's Choice Awards.
17. The highest-grossing Clint Eastwood film ever is Gran Torino, which took $269,958,228 worldwide.
18. When Gran Torino hit the top spot at the box office in 2009, Clint - at the age of 78 - became the oldest leading man to ever be at the number one position.
19. Clint has seven children by five different women. The eldest, Kimber, is 47, while the youngest is Morgan at 14 years of age.
20. Clint is an accomplished jazz pianist and has composed the score for a number of his films.
Now, did I write 20 facts or only 19? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I kinda lost track myself. But being this is The Stu View.....
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